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Dearest Maryland,
You are a terrible football team. Truly terrible. And while you may have won that game in your heart, you actually lost. Rutgers beat YOU 13-34. A wish, a prayer and a dumb web guy won’t get you to a bowl game.
Best of luck,
Caroline
PS - If you could announce the time of the Homecoming game soon, that would be swell. I need to start prepping for tailgating and if that shit is going to be at 10 AM, I am going to be really annoyed. Thanks!