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22nd June 2009

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Ok, I am going to go out on a limb and tell my little story. Because while my parents did not break up on national television, I was about the same age as those darling little sextuplets when they did.

I don’t remember a lot about being told my parents were splitting up, but I can see bits and pieces in my mind. First, I remember the fighting. I was only four, but I remember it very clearly more then 20 years later. This, if nothing else, is a reason to split up for the kids. There is nothing more traumatic to a child then only having memories of Mommy and Daddy fighting. I know my parents are happier because they split. I will never know how my life would have been different if my parents stayed together, but I like who and where I am today and know that it is mostly because of my parents divorce that I am the way I am.

I have to say, I am screwed up when it comes to men. I don’t know if this is a result of my parents splitting up or my crazy stepfather or the strong women in my life who have survived without men. Is there ever really one defining thing? Probably no. And, I am not as screwed up as I could be and I am probably not as screwed up as some of the people who’s parents are happily married. And frankly, I am not worried about it. It is what it is.

I guess what I am saying is the whole, keeping it together for the kids, isn’t usually something that works out. Kids are smart and emotional and can feel when something is wrong. It is better to build a happy life around them, whether that is through a happy marriage or a happy divorce. So, as sad as this whole situation is with these eight children we watch every week, this will just be a bump in the road that shapes them into the dynamic people they will become.

  1. carolinek posted this