Life, by Caroline

I know we are all tweeting and tumbling and whatever about “The Name” but is that really the name Kimye picked? Because none of my big three (People, Us and TMZ) have picked it up.

Are you telling me that these publications have strict source verification policies? Because that makes me feel a lot better about my pop culture consumption practices.

Hello! My name is Caroline and I am exhausted.

I have worked everyday since my birthday on June 3. For those keeping track that’s 12 days in a row.

Most of those, by the way, were 10 or 11 hour days. The weekend was all 15 and 16 hour days.

This weekend, I am going to run errands, sit by the pool, and, oh yeah, sleep. Just need to make it through the day, a really long visit with (totally random) Frank Caliendo, followed by the longest meeting ever. Then. Sleep.

70% humidity INDOORS sure is charming.

sarahlizfits replied to your post: I just went downstairs to refill my water jug and…

Y’all still have GS cookies??

I just went downstairs to refill my water jug and sneak a girl scout cookie.The Secret Service agents that have suddenly decamped in our kitchen were awfully judgey about it.

Fed goes down to Jo-Wil in straights sets at the French. Today’s the day I get excited about tennis for the summer!

For the first time ever, Amazon has failed me! Their customer service was above and above and beyond, but my brand new birthday Kindle is missing. It isn’t their fault and they were SO apologetic, but I am so sad. I want my new toy!

I drown my sorrows in other shopping. New shoes, new shoes, new blanket and new bag. I put the hurt on my credit cards this morning.

Sometimes I just want to stand on a chair and yell, “I HATE EVERYONE!”

Tonight I am at a work meeting until at least 8 pm. SUCK IT!

meredithbklyn replied to your post: Cicadas in Washington make an entirely different…

FUCK are they here?

As an aside, Capital Weather Gang said this morning that if you don’t have them yet, you’re not likely to get them. So, maybe you’re out of the woods!

Cicadas in Washington make an entirely different sound than they do in Nebraska. So, weird.

This morning I woke up at 5:30 AM for no particular reason. Then I was bored, so I walked to the grocery store and bought fixin’s for my mom’s famous potato salad and a spring pea salad.

I have no where to go and nothing to do and basically just me and G are available to eat this food.

Oops.

Last night on the WWHL Aftershow, Andy Cohen and Elisabeth Moss were talking about the new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. He said, “The new season is beyond the beyond of the beyond. Oh God, it is not even… it is not possible.”

So, basically, I am over the moon excited for summer Bravo watching.

The episode of Parks & Rec where they are in DC and she freaks out because “It is 120 degrees out and 200% humidity because this is a stupid swamp town.” Which is basically how I have been feeling these past several days. And it is only May.

I hate this stupid swamp town sometimes.

Thank God the AC is on full blast in the condo and it is 65 degrees in here.

I can’t even with this nonsense news media with the tornado. Asking the parents of a dead child if they would have sent their children to that school if they had known there was no safe room there? Can we stop blaming the victims of these tragedies for where they live/where they sent their children/what they did in the face of severe weather? Do you know how much “safe rooms” cost?? Do you know how hard it is to get a single school built by bond issue? I mean, honestly. Let’s talk about the disaster that is our public education system and talk about whether we spend $1M on a safe room for a tornado that never comes or on books that will teach everyone. Or maybe a living wage for the teachers who threw themselves over children and saved their lives.

I get it. Everyone should have a safe place to go. I am horrified that people died. That children died. It is so awful. But asking parents about the lack of safe room in their schools isn’t helping. It isn’t moving forward a conversation. Every school built in the last 15 years in that community has had a safe room. They’ve had the conversation. It’s changing. By continuing to ask, it is blaming the parents and the community for not caring enough about their children to build them something safer. It makes me sick.

Are there cartoons on in the morning I can watch instead? Maybe an old episode of the West Wing or Saved by the Bell?

I grew up in Nebraska. As long as I can remember, tornadoes have been a part of my life. They always fascinated me, in a look but don’t touch kind of way. I have never been one of those who likes to chase a storm. I want to ride it out in the safety of my basement.

Tornado sirens were always on, available and tested often. Memories of birthday parties, little league softball and summer trips to the drive-in are dotted with memories of my parents hearing the sirens and getting us to safe ground.

Tornado drills were a part of my school days. A month didn’t go by without class trips to the bathrooms, a locker room or an interior room without glass windows. I can only remember twice in my entire 13 years of school in Omaha where those sirens came during school and all our tornado drill practice came in handy.

All I remember was being terrified.

I see these pictures on TV. I watch the search for these children. I can’t watch it anymore. I can’t imagine how terrified these kids are. How scared they were. I remember that feeling and nothing even came to fruition. I am praying for those families.

So, I get it. It isn’t cool to watch CNN anymore. They have fucked up more times than we can all remember. And, yet, I just can’t quit. I would estimate we watch 2-3 hours of CNN a day. Usually in the background while I am getting ready in the morning, or when I get home from work and am being lazy. I think this is because it is honestly the only television that G and I can both actively agree about. If it was up to G, we’d have History or Discovery or Science or baseball on 24/7. If it were me, it would be Bravo. In terms of news channels, CNN is the most news-ie, the least opinion focused. I’m not watching Fox, G isn’t watching MSNBC. So, CNN keeps us current and smart, or whatever.

CNN, you’ve now made me angry. I have sat through terrible talking heads (Ari Fleisher, Margaret Hoover) and terrible anchors (Ashleigh Banfield, Don Lemon) because I like Wolf (so sue me!) and Anderson and Soledad (miss you!) But, I can sit by no longer. This week has broken me.

The interview Chris Cuomo did with Amanda Knox was honestly the worst interview I have ever seen. It is one thing to ask the hard hitting questions. It is another to badger someone on national television. Casey Anthony has had nicer interviews from police. If I had been walking down the street and hear a woman being talked to in such a manner by a man 30 years her senior, I would have stopped and asked her if she was ok. I would have judged the man for being so disrespectful to the woman. I would have alerted others to the verbal abuse.

That was bad enough. It was enough for me to abandon my favorite CNN reporter (Kate Bolduan) and her new morning show with Chris Cuomo to go back to The Today Show come its premiere in June. But now, I think I will have to give it all up. I don’t think I can do any of it anymore if they are going to have that crazy psycho Wendy Murphy on everyday. 

Wendy Murphy is psycho. She is an accomplished liar. She basically makes shit up on live TV. She has for years. And now she is back. People are paying her dumb ass to talk again. She says intentionally inflammatory things because she is dumb and a terrible human being.

And so, I give up. I was your number 1 fan, CNN. I stuck through it all with you. But, now, I think we are done. I give up. You suck too bad, even for me.

You guys… Judi is a rockstar! She helped with the Rockette connection, which is amazing. Mostly because I want to be friends with a Rockette! How cool is that?? Thank you, Judi!

Weird question. Anyone know a Rockette? Or if they do small group charity appearances? Or how I would find this out?Or how I would could make this happen? Because the internet, thus far, has been terribly unhelpful. Can you help and not let google win?

I complained to Chipotle tonight about THE WORST Chipotle I have ever been to ever. And, after that, I counted the number of states I have been to a Chipotle in, which was kind of embarrassing. (thirteen. So. Ashamed.)

They emailed me back almost immediately, which I love about them. On a scale of 1-10 how awkward would it be to thank them for their concern and then offer up my services as a secret shopper kind of thing? Cause I would be 100% awesome at that. Dream job.

I woke up at midnight and wished him a happy birthday! Then, I brought him a diet Coke with a candle in it this morning! And I gave him his present, which he was very excited about!

Tonight, we have cupcakes and more candles and Best Birthday EVER!

Thank goodness for my new Warby Parker’s because they make me look fab and pulled together for work even though I have been crying for 48 hours.

Thank you all for the lovely words and thoughts right now. I am feeling better today… I think because I got to share how wonderful my grandmother was.

Thank you!

I am so sad. Honestly, I don’t know how to put into words how I am feeling. I knew this was coming. I know she is in a better place. I know it is for the best. But, I am still sad. And instead of dwelling on the sad, I am going to dwell on how great she was.

My grandmother had a greater life than many of us can ever dream of having. Not because of what she had, but be cause of who she was. She lived everyday to the fullest, not like it was her last, but like it was her next. Like it was her destiny. Because it was.

My grandmother taught me that family is the most important thing. Not only the family you are born too. Sure, that was important and there was no greater source of pride for Baba then her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. But she taught me the importance of the family you surround yourself with. The friends who choose to be your family. The ones who love you by choice not by birth. She taught me this through all the stories. The stories about people I will never meet. People who I met but don’t remember. People she spent her life with. People she brought joy.

There are a lot of things that come to mind when you think of my grandmother. She lived many different lives. She was a world traveler. She was a teacher. She was a faithful believer. She was a friend. But, I will always think of her as the head of our family. The constant in all of our lives that brought my aunts and uncles and cousins from around the country, together. We loved her. And because of her, we loved each other.

For her 95th birthday, I rallied the family to share some of their favorite “Baba” stories. We all put a few stories down on index cards and presented them to her. The last time I saw her, my last visit home, we read through them together and laughed. There are so many. The trips to Europe. The lessons she would teach us. The silly weekends. And one told of the time she gave my cousin money towards her wedding if her fiance would cut his hair past his shoulder.

That was who my grandmother was. She was loving. She was sweet. She was honest. My grandmother was one of those women you hear about in stories. A woman who was both proper and feisty. A woman who was both exceptional and a little bit of trouble. A woman who could get you to do what she wanted, all while making you think she was doing you a favor.

I will miss my grandmother desperately, not only for the things she did for me, but for the example she set and for the person she required me to become. I hope I can remember her everyday and strive to be a little better in her memory.

sarahlizfits replied to your post: Wanna know how hot it is in the condo?

Ick… AC?

I wish! We live in one of those buildings built in the 70’s that has to turn the whole building over to AC over a 3 day period. Which means they don’t do it forever. Plus, we have a bunch of old people who constantly complain about being cold when it goes down to 60 at night.

Kill me.